T O P
ZweiDunkleJungen

Today I learned I can will myself into cardiac arrest as a perfectly healthy man.


[deleted]

Don’t do it! But I am going to will myself into a DD chest


Thisappleisgreen

I learned that not sleeping enough can cause cardiac arrests in teenage males, "new study says".


sleepyJoeBidet

It's called indigestion.. wich is often confused with heart attack. Though 1/3 being directly traceable is not insignificant


SabunFC

Gaslighting bullshit. The study only looked at mild side effects.


dingopaint

They told the millions of women who experienced fucked up menstruation following the vaccine that it was "caused by the relief of getting vaccinated." That's weird, at no point in my life have any of my internal organs started to shed themselves in response to "being relieved."


Ineedanamestat

I'm so relieved that those issues aren't caused by the vaxx. So relieved that my dick fell of.


thkingofmonks

They probably don’t even expect people to click on the link… being brainwashed as fuck, plenty would just take a screenshot and share it in their sheeplejerk


Impressive-Fortune82

Is covid a placebo then?


Ineedanamestat

It's a GloBAl PaNdeMiC, bigot!


Impressive-Fortune82

We aR iN Zis tUgEzA !!! Don't miss your booster shot 💉💉💉


Caticornpurr

All that imagination and anxiety! The “vaccines” are safe and effective, people! The TV doctors said so!


[deleted]

So did the big Pharma companies and when have they ever hurt anyone? Never, that’s when! And if you cannot trust a billionaire that’s expressly interested in depopulation and whose Papa was a west coast bigwig for Planned Parenthood - who *can* you trust?


Caticornpurr

Exactly. They are just good people trying to help. They’ve paid their billion dollar fines and promised to not commit fraud anymore. They served their time, well, no one served time, but you know what I mean! They promised! Making billions off the worlds taxpayers was just a lucky bet! They saved us! We should be praising them! After all, look how good their gene therapies are working! We would have all been so much sicker or dead without multiple shots!


mr_a_froman

one of the side effects being death? nope I don't think that is in their heads.


[deleted]

I thought those side effects mean it’s working


[deleted]

Stop mocking The Science!


SmithW1984

I must say I admire their commitment - they're puling all the stops. Many are desperate to affirm their choice of going with the therapies.


joeyjoejoeshabadew

So I guess long Covid is all in their head too


[deleted]

Likely true lol


ReimsEisenbahn

Like cheating spouses say "it was all in your head!"


Successful_Reveal101

He just put the tip in


moneyBoxGoBoop

TIL my swollen lymph nodes for 3 months and not being able to use my arm for 1 of those months was all in my head


[deleted]

We did it Reddit!


colaroga

The other 1/3rd is caused by climate change, cannabis, or aliens, obviously


Successful_Reveal101

Don't forget winter vagina


StuffProfessional587

Amazing! That heart scar after vaccine, all in your head, you just believe and you will have it.👌


littlebohdi

And the other 1/3, well those are real serious adverse effects and deaths, man


NFMonkey

I’m gonna placebo myself a bigger cock.


[deleted]

that’s the spirit!


[deleted]

This is a placebo affect, but "long COVID" is 100% legitimate and not at all a mental creation of paranoid people. Lol.


Anxious_Tour7516

A lot of celebrities lately have been placebo dying lately…. Louie Anderson, meatloaf, Bob saget..


[deleted]

And them soccer players too!


Anxious_Tour7516

We need a placebo vaccination to lessen the placebo symptoms of death.


zootsuitpickleweasel

Bob Saget and Meat Loaf were old (especially Meat) and very unhealthy tbf lol


Anxious_Tour7516

It’s normal to have about 5 die in under a month right? And a few sports athletes… This is normal.. ? Right?


zootsuitpickleweasel

Ennh, if you're saying sports athletes then no. Meat Loaf I was surprised lasted this long. Saget I could go either way...I mean had you seen him lately?


Anxious_Tour7516

I saw Saget was boosted through the roof. Betty White.. jury is out she was pushing One Hundo.. would be a shame if it was a shot that got her.


Anxious_Tour7516

Yea, I’m sure it’s just like I said, a placebo thing.


dr-hentai420

My 102 degree fever was a placebo?? 😱


RingoBarnum

*"So, funny story actually, it turns out the whole thing was just in my head! Totally made up, I feel great now!"* \-Bob Sagat


Equivalent_Phone_210

Ok, here’s my placebo vaxx card then.


Chem_Dawg74D

Dude, stop being dead, it’s just your imagination


Healthy-Shirt-6869

by their logic you can cure covid by willing it into being making vaccines pointless


[deleted]

I’m actually using my willpower to cure others; give it a try!


Successful_Reveal101

Most long covid cases are nocebo


nopanicplease

im pretty sure this is also true for long covid


df2dot

"today i learned the moon is made of tacos . back to you in studio Kelly."


godca_grema

Doctor, "he is dead, but it's all in his head"


classicconstipation

So they are both confirming and denying Mass Formation Psychosis exists at the same time?


BuckeyeKhanate

I love to manifest heart attacks


wherearetheturtlles

Then I suppose the other third would be something to look into then? Or wait I forgot, we cannot question the holy doctrine of the covid vaccine.


TinyWightSpider

Gaslighting is very trendy these days


tacticooluser

Placebo heart attacks are the best


willgeld

Two thirds of covid side effects are down to the placebo effect