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AngryKlingon

You did everything right. You explained why and that you can revisit the activity again. Hes feeling his emotions and thats totally okay. Validating his emotions would be a cherry on top. "I know how much fun you were having and thats why youre so upset that we have to go inside. We will play with this again on a bice day." Etc In the future he may have less of a tantrum. Works with my dude. We had to leave the water park and when we got home he said he was disappointed, he only cried for a minute and wanted a hug.


Red8790

Thank you so much! I feel like we are at this stage of everything makes us very emotional. I don’t think it’s an issue, but I think it annoys other people because instead of yelling and spanking I’m sitting down and asking him about his feelings and identifying. He’s the sweetest boy. Just feels big lol


leftpantleg420

That commenter had great advice, I just want to add to it. Try not to say too much when he's having those big emotions. Speak in short, simple sentences. "It's so sad, I know. There's a big storm coming and we need to be safe". Sometimes talking too much can feed into a meltdown because it's more information for his little brain to process. Try your best to stay calm, and model being calm. Taking deep breaths, offering a hug if he likes that, etc. When he's calmed down, that's when you can talk about it more. Also, screw the other people. They're going to have emotionally unstable teenagers in a few years, while you'll have a strong bond with your son. Studys show time and time again that kids who can identify how they feel have significantly better mental health than those who can't. You're doing it right!


Red8790

I never thought of the short simple sentences and I bet that is half of his issue because he’s dealing with too much forget trying to listen to Mom give a speech. I’ll try that for sure! And thank you. I have two older daughters and one who is on the spectrum so I feel like I always have eyes on me and I’m trying to raise strong people who understand how they feel not what o want them to feel


leftpantleg420

Ah yes, see that makes me respect you even more because unfortunately, people on the spectrum are more vulnerable to being abused. You giving your daughter labels for her emotions and teaching her boundaries will make her far less vulnerable, and god forbid something bad happens she will feel safe telling you! Edit: Also, autism is genetic, so if your son by any chance is autistic as well, it would make sense why he has big meltdowns when leaving because I'm sure as you know, transitions are very difficult for autistics.


Red8790

My middle girl is the one on the spectrum so I for sure feel like I’m watching so much more with him. It’s so weird though deciding what’s neurotypical toddler stuff and what’s not so much loo


fakename310

The best advice I’ve received from my ped when my 3 year old started this was to set a timer. And yep I rolled my eyes because it feels like such an obvious answer but I gotta say, it really worked. We started at 3 minutes, let him pick a goofy sound on our phones (ducks!) and it’s been a couple months and now he knows that when he hears the duckies, it’s time to do whatever I said was next. Sometimes we still have issues but he’s much better!


Red8790

Good idea!


Grapplebadger10P

One more little bit of advice from a pediatric OT. Acknowledge and validate. “It *IS* sad we have to go inside! I’m sad too!” (Great job though!)


Red8790

Thank you so much, that’s very helpful!


Zombiethrowawaygo

Not on subject but isn't it great when you're watching your child break down in the most frustrating time.. school collection, super market etc and a fellow parent gives you the nod and tells you their child has just recovered from their own tantrum or something else supportive.


Red8790

Always!!


catfoodspork

Once when my kid was having a major public meltdown, a woman a few decades older than me came right up to us. We clearly expected her to share the wisdom of her years because we were new parents and getting nowhere. She looked like maybe she had kids and grandkids of her own. She starts with “I’m a children’s book author.” We thought “oh she’ll know the secret.” She continued “I’ve just come from an in-store book signing event.” I though she might show the book to my kid, who was screaming so loud the lady had to raise her voice to be heard. “This is really this lady’s chance to be a hero,” I thought. “My books teach entrepreneurship and capitalism to preschool age kids. I have a few left for only $35 each.” She was trying to sell them to us at a moment of extreme vulnerability while my kid screamed and rolled on the sidewalk. It took all of my restraint not to yell at the daft old buddy.


nancydrewvibes

Everyone here has given you great advice and I’d like to add one more thing. If he keeps throwing the tantrum try active ignoring- at some point he’ll get tired and realize he’s not getting any attention whatsoever.


Red8790

I’ve done better with the kind of letting him just get it out after we’ve tried to talk and it’s failed. I think his sisters who are 13 and 15 have a harder time and sometimes egg him on and that’s a whole other parenting problem I have. But if I ignore does it make him feel like I don’t care? There’s that whole part of me that feels like I should be doing more


nancydrewvibes

I think a short explanation should be enough. My boy is the same sometimes, but I've found giving more attention while he tantrums just makes it worse for the next time. They just want the attention regardless if its good or bad. By ignoring the screaming and crying, they start to learn that tantrums will not get mom's attention. As long as he's not hurting himself of course. Mine has at some points gotten angry when the crying wasn't working and would start to scream or throw his things- had to give him some time out in his room which would calm him down. I know it can be difficult to ignore it and may feel wrong- but it's fine.


Red8790

💙💙


sj4iy

How long did the tantrum last and what did he do?


Red8790

Just crying loudly, very very loudly. Sometimes he tosses himself down. Today he did hit his big sister so I went over and gave him a tight hug and he calmed right down.