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Surgeon here. Trauma patient with who fell on steel rebar and it went in one side of the chest and out the other side long ways. Somehow missed his heart, esophagus, major arteries. We removed it with no critical injuries. Edit: For those asking, he came in very stable so we were able to do imaging and see no obvious major vessel or heart injury. We then removed it in the operating room in case moving it revealed a injury (basically completely ready to crack the chest if he started bleeding, but otherwise just pulled it out). Got bilateral chest tubes but did not end up needing any large surgeries.


I saw a show where they tested something like that - a guy had slipped and fell on a plant stake that went from the bottom right ribcage, up through the chest and out the left side of his neck. I think he even walked into the ER like that, and there was surprisingly little trauma for what looked absolutely horrible. The show came to the conclusion that his saving grace was that the stake was dull/not sharp, so it kinda pushed past everything critical without serious damage. Their experiment with a sharpened stake was much more lethal. Definitely one lucky guy Edit: the sharpened stake test was done against some water balloons, with a re-enactment done with a ballistic gel dummy


Guy had put a cucumber down his throat and it broke off so he couldn’t pull it back out. He came in with his wife. Edit- how did he survive? He could still breath a bit around it… not completely occluded. Otherwise he would have died.


I can see how this all started. “Look I’ll show you how to do it properly, noob”


Was it peeled?


The real question


Put a corkscrew in the cucumber and pull it out like a big wine cork. It makes a very satisfying pop, I've done it dozens of times.


“Doctors HATE this one trick!”


How did he survive the journey to the hospital? I am amazed.


Probably food pipe not air pipe


Stop using the proper medical terminology, it's confusing me Edit: thanks for the hugz!


Bezoar (giant hair ball) in the exact shape of a stomach. Turns out, she worked at a hair salon and was eating OTHER PEOPLE’S HAIR


Ugh... I wonder what came first! Did she develop this disorder while working there or did she have the disorder and specifically chose the jobe because of this?


you’re asking the real questions, i too would like to know the answer to this


That’s really bezoar


Take my upvote and gtfo


Bezoar is such a cool name for a not so cool thing


Fun fact: two or more hairballs are Bezos. (Well, regardless... That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)


And ironically both Jeff Bezos and his brother, Mark are bald


I’ve heard of people getting this because they eat their own hair as a nervous tic or as an ocd thing… but OTHER PEOPLES HAIR??? oh my that’s awful!


And.....that's enough Reddit for the day.


Ok this is the worst. Familiar with the butt stuff cases so was expecting those but a bezoar of other people's hair is where apparently I draw the line.


What the fuck




I really appreciate that your comment matches your avatar


Cement. I work in derma and had a couple of women come with cement injected in their face and didn’t know why they couldn’t feel their face/ do certain facial expressions. And yes, they wanted a discount dermatologist so they went to Mexico.


How exactly do you even go about removing that?




There's a plastic surgeon on YouTube who comments on botched surgeries. There's a video exactly on this if you're curious.


The amount of people who come to my hospital after getting surgery in a “cheaper” country is astounding. The results are terrible, the skin is oozing pus, and the resulting infections take FOREVER to clear. When they say it’s not the surgeon’s fault and that they are going back for more surgeries I almost wanna smack ‘em


It’s so mind boggling how many people are willing to cut costs on a non-necessary, permanent procedure. Even if the surgery is a success there’s always the chance you won’t like how you look because you didn’t do your researxh


It’s funny. They go to other countries to get cheaper procedures but they still end up paying more when it goes wrong.


Did they just really not understand the concept of applying foundation to their faces?


Neurosurgeon here. Guy came into the hospital with 3 days of headache out of nowhere. Head CT showed a large nail through the anterior skull base(think above the nose, between the forehead). When asked about it he had been using a pneumatic nail gun a couple days before. He remembered a moment when he didn’t brace the gun right and it rebounded, hitting him in the face. It must have fired a nail when the end hit him in the face and he didn’t realize it. He indeed did have a small wound in his cheek that fit with the story. Luckily the nail avoided the large blood vessels and other critical structures in the brain. We had to take him to surgery in order to pull it out. Cutting it out of his brain was weird.


Glad they didn’t try an MRI


Oh god thats a horrifying thought


"Just hold still and *ting* oh.. my...god." -mri tech probably


It's actually worse than that. It wouldn't be just a ting, they become a projectile buzzing around the MRI until they turn the thing off. Edit: if you want to feel slightly nauseated, look up a medical malpractice suit involving a kid in an MRI and an oxygen tank. It's a terrible story about systems errors in which no one did anything horribly negligent or malicious but a sequence of small errors that wouldn't on their own have been a big deal added up to a tragedy.


I was a pediatric patient at Westchester Medical Center when this happened. Scary as fuck and seeing it referenced on a Reddit thread is an odd way to be reminded!


Ugh, I'm sorry. That sounds like a horrible thing to be around for. I learned about it in a patient safety seminar in residency. They use it to illustrate how small systems errors can add up to something terrible even when everyone involved is making a good faith effort to do their job and no one is doing anything intentionally malicious or flagrantly negligent.


I use a metal cane. I got sent to get an MRI. The first place I went to let me take the cane inside the room [first red flag I missed] and use it up to the table [second red flag]. When I went to get off the table, I didn't think and asked for the cane, and the tech *handed it to me*. I felt it fly just past my face as it flew straight into the machine. The tech managed to pry it out, and it was very bent. While I was checking out and paying my co-pay, the tech came in to tell the front office that all other appointments should be cancelled because "the machine is down again."


I'm sorry but what would've happened


MRI scans use very strong magnets so I could imagine only bad things would come from using one with a nail in the brain.


I think this is why they usually do xrays first. Metal shows on those.


That and x-rays are much much cheaper than MRI


Probably would have started to pull the nail from inside his brain to outside his brain


And not necessarily through the hole which it made.


i read something like this once, except the guy had a nail in his face for like a year and the only reason it started causing headaches was because of scar tissue


Dentist. We had 2 men come in to reception, one of whom had a snooker ball in his mouth. The man who didn't explained that they'd been at the snooker club down the road and his friend bet someone £50 that he could fit a snooker ball in his mouth. He won the bet then found he couldn't get it out. We had to sedate him and dislocate his jaw to remove it. Edit. Just woke up to lots of ' that happened in Mash' I had no idea, never really watched it but shall look for the relevant episode. Dislocating his jaw and taking the ball out was actually pretty quick and easy, the part that took longest was getting him sedated. Also I had no idea snooker was such an English thing.


I like this one. It still implies people voluntarily doing bizarre things, but does not involve any genital holes.


You basically had to take his jaw off the hinge to get it out?


“The man who didn’t explained” made me giggle.


Former ER tech. Had an older gentleman come in with a mayonnaise jar that he filled with water and goldfish up his ass.


Were the goldfish ok?


They probably needed therapy


Only for 30 seconds though


Sounds like he should have gone to the Mayo Clinic. 😎


Please be the crackers please be the crackers please be the crackers please


I have a toddler so I just assumed it was crackers. Now I’m horrified.


Fucking Hellman


My mother in law used to be a scrub nurse and she told us a story about a patient they had in the OR who purposely cut up little bits of a metal coat hanger and barbed them so they couldn't be removed, then proceeded to shove them up his urethra. I can't remember the actual medical term for it but he was one of those people who had a mental health issue and wanted surgeries done so he would constantly do terrible things to himself because they would have to surgically correct them.


This reminds me of something that used to be done with pedos on prisions in my country. Other prisioners would insert a pipe on the guy's rectum and, after that, a barbed wire throught the pipe, then remove the pipe


How do i unread this




What fucking country if you don't mind me asking?


Anal beads (Expert mode)


I used to work in medical sales and one A+E Dr I visited had an 8 ball on his desk (it had a little stand and a glass case). I had to ask - thinking it was a pool competition trophy. It wasn’t a pool competition trophy.


Similar story here in PA. There was a crooked but very well known lawyer who crossed the wrong people and ended up having to have a billiard ball removed.


Pls tell me more. Why did they choose.... That.... Rather than the standard broken leg?


Unsure of the specifics butttt..... you can more than likely google him. I won't name names but I will give you his slogan which was "Turn the book over". His ad was the back of our local phonebook here in Central PA. My childhood best friend, his mom worked at the surgical center who did the removal. I believe it was a cue ball, specifically. Lol. Lots of strange things happen around here such as a friend of mine did carpet installation on the side. Showed up to the apartment complex to see guys in hazmat suits. Turns out they had to gut the place bc the guy who lived there had been doing some strange butt stuff for years in there. Brace yourself! He was fucking himself in the ass with the door knobs then storing his ejaculate in mayonnaise jars. There were jars piled up in every corner of the house and blood stains on everything! I mean hell, I like to party but this guy took it to a new level! Lol


Hamster is #1. An entire door knob which ripped out of the door, screws and all. (The guy SWEARS he fell while putting on his shoes. After that, every time someone changed shoes to go to the OR, our little 80 yro Path would say, “Watch out for the door knob! Don’t turn your back on it!” And laugh himself into a crying fit. Absolutely magical to see.) This ones not my story. A buddy worked for a gyn. Had a pregnant pt come in to remove rotting fruit from her vagina... several times a month. Her husband had a kink. They called her ‘Fruit Salad.’ Not internal but external, a pt came in after being stabbed, at a county bar, and did not want his pants cut off. Turns out he had a kiolbassa sausage taped to his inner thigh so it looked like a bulge in his Ranglers. The strangest one would be pulling out a 10 inch long strand of free floating, unpigmented, hair from a 9 yro girl’s abdominal cavity. No idea how it got there. Edit: To answer some recurring questions, it definitely was not from a teratoma and was found by chance while performing another procedure. She then had exploratory surgery to further investigate and nothing abnormal was found.


Please, tell us more about the hamster


There’s not much to tell. Just a poor dead hamster :(


Lemmywinks nooooo 😭😭😭


Regarding the girl: Did anyone x-ray her pelvic area? She may have had one of those ovarian tumors that often contain hair and teeth. As for Mr. Kielbasa, at least he didn't go through airport security with a zucchini wrapped in aluminum foil stuffed in his pants. "Do you have any artificial limbs or plates?"


CT as well as exploratory surgery right after discovery. Nothing to indicate origin. No, it was for sure not from a teratoma.


I have a nurse friend who showed us an X-ray of a shampoo bottle up a dudes ass once so that was cool.


Was it put in at a medium pace?


Thank you for reminding me about this masterpiece of a song


Not really fucked up, rather common but uncommon non-reaction. Dead cucumber inside a vagina. Wife and husband where playing with it, a bit broke off and never came out. So they just decided to ignore it. Started rotting inside and caused a bad secondary infection. The smell, secretions, and the sight of those morons' faces as they were explaining was priceless. One of the (now countless) days I felt something die inside me.


I really can't imagine how someone could feel comfortable with that? Not like in a judging way but just generally curious how you could just ignore something rotting inside you. I'd get literally no sleep.


Exactly, like HOW can people just go on with their daily lives in situations like these? Since the pandemic and zoom meetings, I have learned that many people can apparently just ignore their beeping smoke detectors for weeks on end. I can’t last an hour. So some folks are just built different I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️


Not a surgeon but a patient… I had emergency surgery about 20 years ago in a really small rural hospital. 2 months later I had to have another surgery in a better hospital because the doctors of the first surgery had accidentally left some items including gauze and a small cutting tool inside my body when they sewed me back up.


I have never been able to understand how this happens. If it was one random drunk dude performing amateur surgery, maybe? A surgeon and team of nurses and anesthesiologist etc, it makes absolutely no sense. No one notices?? I'm so glad you're ok!


This is surprisingly common (most commonly with things like surgical sponges, which can easily be concealed in blood). This is why it's very important for them to track everything that is used, both in and out.


Not a surgeon but a few years ago i read this story about a lady who was experiencing pain everytime she sat down following a surgery, she went back to the hospital where they found out they had left a pair of scissors in her, i think the woman sued the hospital in the end for making her live with a pair of scissors inside of her for months.


I was this as well! She had made multiple visits to the hospital following the botched conclusion of the story and they (supposedly thought she was faking it for med) treated her poorly thinking she was seeking meds. Helluva fuck up


A man came into my clinic about really bad stomach pains, so I felt around his stomach and gave him a X-ray. What I found was two pool balls and key cars. I asked how this happened but all I could get out of him was, he was super black out drunk




Trust me his parents have NOT forgotten that.


Old man comes in with pain and a swollen foot,has an old dressing on his calf. We cut open the dressing and there are insects flying here and there. The whole area under was infested with maggots. Apparently he got a small prick from somewhere, got a dressing for the wound from a PHC and left it there for 4-5 months. There was no muscles left.


This happened to a family member - he had a small cut on his foot, that got infected. He was ‘treating’ it with polysporin and bandaids for close to 4 months when he finally saw a doctor in the ER. They removed 1/2 his foot that night due to gangrene. He also learned he has diabetes, and 9 years later is still dealing with an open wound from that surgery. Take care of yourself people!




The poor circulation that comes with diabetes leads to numerous foot problems. Mostly because over time, diabetics tend to lose feeling in the foot (diabetic neuropathy), so they might not even realize there’s a gaping gangrenous hole where the foot pad used to be, while also making such a thing more likely to occur. Avoid risk factors for diabetes as much as you can, it’s not just about “managing your sugars.”


And those foot issues are why when my parents were still alive, my mother took my father’s socks off at the end of the day. She was checking for damage. (It’s also why she insisted on white cotton socks for my dad: if there was an injury he didn’t feel, the obvious discolouration of blood or whatever on white would be an early warning system of sorts.)


Yo did he keep his foot?


We had to debride the dead tissue and clean the wound everyday which is a painful process even after painkillers.He just couldn't bear the pain. He took a DAMA(discharge against medical advice). I don't think he'll be able to.


Had a lad dropped off at A&E with crossbow bolt stuck in his upper thigh. His story was that he was walking through a local park with his loaded crossbow and tripped, shooting himself in his thigh. Two days later another lad was dropped of at A&E with a Bowie knife stuck in his upper thigh. His story was that he was walking though a local park with the knife in his hand and tripped, stabbing himself in his thigh It turned out that the first lad was a member of the Burger Bar Boys and the second lad was a member of the Johnson Crew. Both were members of rival gangs and there had been an argument which had been sorted out.


Okay, first off the burger bar boys is just a terrible gang name. It sounds like an a cappella group that performs in diners. Second though, one of them brought a crossbow to a fight?! A freaking crossbow?!


Not a surgeon, but this is a really fucked up story Ive heard my mom tell a few times about her days in social work (usually to someone who is looking to get into social work, kind of a “make sure you really want to do this” thing). Its a bit long. She had a woman who was a “regular”, lot of mental issues, home bound. We’ll call the woman Ann (no idea what her name is). She almost never moved from her chair, and I mean that literally. Pooped in the chair on the reg and just sat in it. I don’t really know how she fed herself, maybe a different service brought her food. Regardless, nobody wanted to be there long because of the smell (this will be relevant later). Anyway, she calls my mom because she has a lump in her arm that’s bugging her. Mom gets there all the lights are out. Bulb is dead (this will be relevant later as well). No replacements in the house. Goes to a few other houses to try to get a bulb, and only one she can find is a green bulb she gets from a kid who is home alone for some reason. Goes back to Ann and screws in the bulb. Since its a green bulb its still pretty dim. Goes to look at the lump in her arm (which is visible even in the dim light), but then notices something weird is going on with ann’s legs. It looks like the skin is rippling like water. My mom asks about it and gets a non-response. Then she pokes her leg and its…basically hollow. She had diabetes apparently and her legs rotted, and the rippling was all the maggots eating the dead skin (they actually saved her life). I guess nobody noticed it was happening because they would basically just hand her food and take off. Probably the bulb had been out a while too. Oh and the lump was a softball sized tumor. So yeah. Social workers don’t get paid enough.


Scrub tech here. I’ve seen a flower vase, a fushigi ball, and a toothbrush covered in spray foam insulation and wrapped in electrical tape, in peoples rectums.


I had to pull a Lego out of someone’s lungs once


User name definitely checks out.


Not a doctor, But embalmer. Had a sever Huffer addict,life long; dies at 36. His body was autopsied and when examining his skull cap in the inside was silver capillaries lining the top of the inside cap. Apparently after some research, silver spray paint as well as gold is the "preferred" paint to huff


Healthcare worker here. Saw an 80+ man with a Tylenol bottle up his ass. He swore he didn’t know how it got there 😐


Did you hear the bottle when he walked in before he told you?


To add, they came to the hospital for a femur fracture and coincidentally found the bottle on X-ray


That was the incidental finding?! Though… maybe this IS one of the rare “one in a million shot, doc” cases, then…


Alzheimer’s be like that some times.


Makes sense. I put tylenol in my mouth for a headache or neckache. Maybe he had lower back pain, and one tylenol just wasn't cutting it.


It was a one in a million shot, doc.


Former surgical assistant here. For a while I worked at a bush hospital in a village in [unnamed African country for privacy], and saw some insane shit. As for fucked up things I've found inside a body specifically, I'll just share one. A 21 year old woman who recently had a c section and tubal ligation at a different hospital was brought to us by her family due to her deteriorating condition and because they didn't trust the surgeon she had seen. We perform an exploratory lap and find out that she didn't have a tubal ligation, the fucking quack who cut this woman open had snipped her ureters, not her fallopian tubes. In the end, her health was so poor that even though we cleaned her out and re-connected her remaining (only one was viable) ureter, her body could not heal and she died a few days later.


That’s so sad


1. Spray deodorant can. 2. Vibrator and a set of tongs (the tongs we’re trying to get the vibrator out) 3. Full bud light can Three different people,btw


Obligatory not a surgeon but I read a news article about a surgeon who found someone’s initials cauterized into a patients organ. Turns out it was a surgeon who had done a previous surgery and felt the need to leave his mark on a patient. I believe he lost his medical license over it.


Yup I think he was doing liver transplants maybe? Was cauterizing just initials. Only was discovered when there was a complication and the next guy to revise it noticed and reported


You want somebody who's juuuust enough of a psychopath to have an unnaturally steady hand in an unnaturally high-stress situation but who's not so much of a psychopath that they do this stuff... Actually, I'd like to know how good he actually was.


I just want to know why none of the surgeons helpers ever reported it


Because they didn't want their livers cauterized


At least it's somewhat reassuring that the following surgeon didn't just think "well, surgeons before patients I guess" and instead thought "someone's committed intentional malpractice here and shouldn't still be operating on people".


Laparoscopic surgery for cholecystectomy IIRC. Took the gall bladder out, then used the diathermy hook to burn their initials into the liver. I know having a big ego comes with being a surgeon, but YIKES.


This happened to a woman that had some abdominal surgery and the surgeon marked his initials on her uterus


He now writes surgery/crime novels and has a big house in Cornwall.




IIRC this guy was not very good at what he did, word is his colleagues kinda used this habit of writing on livers to push him out. Also argon beam is on another level. Traditional cautery ("Bovie") uses a metal tip to conduct electricity, but this thing blasts argon on the surface which is much more conductive than air and it looks like you're using lightning. It's absolutely awesome. Shame it's useless as a tool for cautery.


I am not a surgeon but I knew a girl who would clean up after surgeries, one of the funniest stories I ever heard… Doctor: excuse me sir, so we found the blockage in your urethra. Can you think of any reason why a peanut would be in there? Patient: hahahaha oh damn, well my wife and I play a game called feed the elephant. And what happens is she puts a peanut m&m inside my dick and she then sucks them out. Apparently one must of gotten stuck So the chocolate on the m&m melted off and the peanut stayed. So m&ms melt in your dick and not in your hands apparently.


You are the best story I've read so far! That's super funny! Edit: peanut M&Ms are fucking HUGE. Why and how do people do this?!


Lesson learned from this thread ... DON'T BE STICKING THINGS UP YOUR ASS, PEOPLE!


Actually the lesson here is to have a plan to retrieve a thing before you stick it up the ass


I used to work for the ambulance service here in the U.K. When anyone asks what’s the most important/useful thing you learned while working there I reply- Hold on tight and use cheap batteries!


Or just buy the toys specifically designed for that purpose. I imagine they’re far less likely to break off or get stuck. Just a hunch.


If you've been on askreddit long enough, you'll learn that a flared base is key


My dad used to work at a psych ward and a severely schizophrenic man got ahold of a pen and jammed it down his urethra. No one realized until the thing had calcified and he was going into organ failure. My dad doesn't know what happened to him, but I'm sure that must have been one gruesome surgery.


I work with a few guys that used to work at the local prison, and they said they had an inmate do something similar, except it had only pen up there 3 days…he said he was having some “issues” but wouldn’t say, his bunk Mate told on him so they ushered him into the infirmary, pulled his pants down, and the nurse said “on the count of 3 I’m going to pull this out” and went “1….*pull*” and yanked it out and there was as nothing but blood and pus and urine all coming out at once like a stopped up water hose….the inmate let out just a huge sigh of relief and sounded like he was having the best day of his life in that moment


Thanks I hate it


no other nut in his life is gonna come close to that one, huh?


The old Bic prick trick.


First comment aaaaaand I’m done…


Oh...oh no. I thought this post was just gonna be interesting to read, but now my pee pee hurts. Imma go lay down for a while and just ponder life. Excuse me.


What a horrible time to be able to read.


This no joke happened to a friend of mine. We’re both medical students and he is on his psych rotation. He makes eye contact through a partially open door with a patient who proceeds to take a straw he was holding, drop his pants, and self-catheterize


This made my urethra recoil in horror.


My friend's dad used to be maintenance at the psych hospital, he told me it was a night mare to patch wall etc. The patients would eat the filler etc or plaster as soon as I t was up.


Not a surgeon. Knew someone who ate spoons. Just swallowed them and had surgery to remove them repeatedly. Batteries too. Also had put pen lids in his urethra but those were more easily removed.


Is medical stuff affordable where you live? How can someone afford surgery after surgery 😭


We have universal healthcare. It’s not a choice to do this sadly, mental illness was the cause so it likely just kept happening until the person got treated for the underlying cause.


You must have worked at the same psychiatric hospital I did, because I knew of patients who did such things. I had forgotten about the batteries.


Worked in a children’s hospital er years ago. Had one kid come in who would stick anything he could up his urethra, because that was how his mom would punish him when she had custody of him. The strangest though was a young girl who ate rocks. She ate so many her bowels became backed up. She was the whitest white I had ever seen. We had doctors come from different parts of the hospital just to catch a glimpse, because some said it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity.


Did that abusive mother end up serving time in prison?


I’m a general surgeon and I once took a power line insulator out of a man’s rectum. The thing was conical with the base being approximately 11 cm in diameter. We were just about to call Ortho in to break his pelvis to get it out when it finally broke free.


My Mom told me this story where she was an RN at the GI unit of a hospital for a guy named Dr Gupta. This dude comes into the ER with a vibrator so far up his ass they send him up to GI to see if Dr. Gupta can get it out with his scopes. The whole time during the operation the vibrator is still running. Right before they get it out the vibrator died, and Gupta looks at my Mom and says, “ Hey, maybe we should just wake him up and see if he wants us to change the batteries”. My Mom said she peed a little laughing and had to leave the OR to change. I was 11 when she told me the story.


I’m not a surgeon, and I don’t work with humans, but I’m currently training to be a surgical assistant at the vet clinic I work at. I’ve asked the senior techs and the doctors I’ve worked with what the weirdest/most interest thing is they’ve seen come out of a pets rear end. This includes: 1. A 12 pound tumor removed from a 15 pound dog. The dog is still alive and kicking. 2. A cat with a dead from stuck in the fur near her bum. The frog had been pooped out. 3. Lots and lots of socks. 4. A tampon, thankfully in the wrapper. 5. 33 golf balls and 2 ping pong balls. (The dog’s owner reportedly would hit golf balls off his porch into the woods in his yard, and his German Shepherd would go chasing after it. He never retrieved the balls so never knew she was eating them. They went to the emergency clinic when she went 3 days without eating, defecating, AND she had a weird “bumpy” stomach.) 6. Rocket balloons. You remember the balloons you would pump up and release, and they’d fly around and make weird sounds? My own dog ate them, and he pooped them out — they were encasing his poop. We were quite lucky he didn’t end up at the emergency clinic. I was maybe 8 or 9, so the dog was 2, and he lived to be 16 (which is GREAT for a lab). 7. I once saw an X-ray (which you can find online) of a snake with a cat inside it. The vet who x-rayed the snake had friends whose cat had gone missing, and it turns out that their cat was eaten by their neighbor’s snake when it escaped.


good luck with your training


Psych nurse here. I've had patients swallow batteries, razors, rocks, underwire from a bra, insert staples and paperclips under their skin in their forearms. I once had a kid insert an entire pencil under the skin in her forearm. Surprisingly, the only object that actually had to be surgically removed was the kid who shoved the paperclips under her skin in her arm. She developed a nasty infection from it and they were very deep. The kids who swallowed all the objects passed them naturally (with the help of fiber supplements and Miralax).


I talked to a anaesthetist one time who went on about stuff found up people's butts. He described one man in particular who was a regular (used things like kids toys, light bulbs, etc), and swore up and down that this guy even attempted (and partially succeed) to shove a full sized fire extinguisher in his ass. That was the day the surgical staff pooled their money and bought him a set of butt plugs. They didn't see him again after.


Not a surgeon but it was my body so I feel like I can tell it. In 2001 I had congestive heart failure a couple days before my due date - I had pregnancy-induced cardiomyopathy and my doctor hadn't caught it. I had an emergency C section followed by a total hysterectomy the next day. Sucked, but both kiddo and I survived and are fine today. In 2014 I finally go see a gastro doc because I have this hard little knot near my belly button and it's causing me pain and it's weird. "I think I might have belly button cancer," I say. "That's not a thing," she says. "You have a hernia, doesn't seem big, no need to do anything unless it really starts to hurt." Ok, I'd had the knot for a couple years so apparently nothing to worry about. A couple weeks later, I wake up and my stomach is burning hot with a bright red rash across it. Go see surgeon - surgeon says "Hernia is inflamed. Gotta fix it." Ok. It's a 30 minute outpatient surgery. I wake up. Surgery was two hours - it wasn't a hernia. A suture - according to the surgeon, it was a type of suture used in gynecological surgery around the time my kid was born - never melted/absorbed/whatever, and remained in my abdomen until it perforated my colon and caused a fistula. Had to have a small recision. Wound up spending two weeks in the hospital, 24 hours on a NG tube - which was WAY worse than 2 weeks on a ventilator. NG tubes are AWFUL. Stomach hasn't been the same sense but I was lucky. A bowel perforation was going to fuck me up if I hadn't had the surgery.


Lots of different foreign bodies being swallowed and up the butt. You name it, chances are it’s been up or down someone. Advanced stage cancer does some pretty messed up things to the anatomy as well.


Okay, obligatory not a surgeon, but I was there. So it's a real tossup. 1. Fourteen inch burpless cucumber. The person drove across three states to have it removed from his colon. He did get back home in time for the Sunday morning service. 2. Eight feet of speaker wire up the urethra and into the bladder. I can't look at monster cable without thinking about it and the knot. 3. Thousands of ascariasis causing bowel obstruction. Don't look it up, just trust me. 4. Hundreds of needles, pins, paper clips, and pieces of wire under a child's skin. Nobody knew how they got there. 5. Entire 8 inch chef's knife via 1½ hole. Knife only visible on xray. 6. Huge T. gondii cyst in a brain. Litter boxes are death traps. 7. Six foot long chain link post thru the chest after a four wheeler accident. He did have his helmet on though. 8. A dozen glass teardrop pendants from an antique chandelier in the stomach of a child. 9. A cherry pit from the sinus of a man that stuck it up his nose 40 years earlier. Surprisingly his lifelong problem with right sides sinus drainage resolved. 10. A softball sized bezoar made of hair and fingernails. Don't ask how it smelled. Well, I found ten fascinating cases.


1.Burpless cucumber?


I know someone found big cloth in someones intestines today (I overheard them outside my room, I'm not a surgoen)


I assume you are in the hospital. I hope everything is on the mend for you. Best wishes.


Thank you! :D


There are a few famous cases from my old radiology department. I think my favorite was the guy who was swallowing Barbie doll heads for autoerotic purposes at the other end. Ended up with a bowel obstruction.


Surgical nurse here, I’ve seen: 1)Champagne bottle up the ass (still corked) 2)12” dildo lost inside rectum, poor guy tried to get it out with pliers, ended up with partial colon removal


Did...did he remove part of the colon himself?


Pliers ruptured his own colon, badly enough to need the area removed.


Not a surgeon. I bought this book when it came out, out of sheer “WTF?”: Http://Www.weirduniverse.net/blog/comments/concrete_enema


> The patient said that approximately 4 h earlier he and his boyfriend had been “fooling around.” After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet against the wall at a 45° angle while his boyfriend poured the mixture through a funnel into his rectum. After the concrete mass hardened, it became so painful that he sought medical care. Yeah no… if the concrete mix is coming out at any time while we’re fooling around, that’s gonna be a pass from me, dog. I never thought to put “pouring concrete into my ass” on my hard limits list but here we are. EDIT: figuring out how to quote on mobile


Not a concrete scientist but I'm pretty sure curing concrete is also mildly corrosive to flesh, causes chemical burns on extended contact. One hell of a way to end up with a colostomy bag.


That is exactly what I was thinking. I'm pretty sure concrete curing releases heat from the chemical reactions, and the stuff will mess up the skin on your hands if you don't wear gloves. I don't know how anyone would want that inside of their body....


"Remarkably, the doctors were able to remove the concrete mass without any damage to the patient's rectum. It had formed a perfect cast of the interior of the rectum, even showing “grooves produced by mucosal folds.”"


Holy shit "concrete enema" is enough for me, I don't need to know any more about this particular story


Not a surgeon, but worked in an Emergency Dept for many years. A patient once came in with a vibrator lodged in his rectum. It required surgery to remove. After the device was removed, staff sent it to sterile processing where it was subsequently sterilized, packaged, and gifted as a white elephant gift at the ED Christmas Party that year.


what the fuck. but i guess its very economical tho.


They stole the patient’s toy? How rude!


Yes, but he was in a hurry to get out of the hospital after his procedure. His wife didn’t know where he was and he had to get home. She was unaware of his extramarital activities. Luckily for him, it was an outpatient procedure with only a few hours of recovery time.


Sounds like it was very much an *in* patient procedure.


99% of these will be about things removed from some dude's butt


Had an elderly man come into the ER one afternoon. Said he was having a hard moving his Bowls. We did an x ray on him just to make sure something wasn’t stuck up there. Well, there in fact was something up there. A dildo. And when I say this was “really up there” I mean it was in there to the point where you couldn’t even see it doing an exam on the area. Turns out it was a huge pink dildo. And i mean even to this day I haven’t seen a dildo that large. When asked what happens he said “I have no idea, I must of fallen on it”


not a surgeon but a support worker. once had a guy come in with a vibrator stuck up his back passage. in itself not so unusual…it’s just the first person he rang in a state of panic was his own mother.


I'm not a surgeon, but I am a doctor. Gnarliest thing recently was a fungating tumor the size of a grapefruit on someone's scalp with maggots writhing through it.


How, HOW do people wait that long to see a doctor??


My prof told us she once had a patient show up with a boob that was all black and clearly not well. Turns out she had breast cancer and didn't consult a doctor until it was way too late because she had a crippling fear of developing breast cancer. There are hypochondriacs and there are their polar opposites.






Surgical vet tech, we pulled a dildo out of a dog. We also pulled out a lego hat, from a cat. A hat in a cat.


I'm not a surgeon but the one I know works in emergency and is always sending me videos of things he pulls out of guys asses (dildos, bottles, cans, spoons, dolls...)


Another one for the ass box.


"But we don't have a Lost and Found box..."


Not surgeon, but patient After the surgery, I was told that many of my organs were pushed in different ways, but mainly up under my ribcage and that was why I was so flexible. I didn’t have any problems or anything, but going to a chiro is kinda annoying


A friend of mine was very sick with terrible lower stomach pains. They did a scan of her lower abdomen and found a fistula where her colon and vagina had grown together and she had been shitting out of her vagina at times.


My mom is a nurse and she had a patient come in with a vibrator that had been stuck in their rear for several (5) days. He had been unable to have a bowel movement for the entire period of time it was stuck inside of him, and needless to say, at that point they couldn’t just pull it out. Dude was in EXCRUCIATING pain. And no, he never admitted to sticking it up there. The scans didn’t show nearly how extensive the necrosis in his bowel was. Their intention was to pull the vibrator out and explore the damage with the scope before deciding the best method of treatment for the necrotic bowel. Long story short, as they pulled the vibrator out, it began to perforate the bowel because it was weak and dying. Patients body began filling with rotting bowel excrement and they had to open his belly to explore and clean him out so he didn’t go into sepsis. My mom came home in a pair of hospital scrubs and a new pair of shoes that day, because when they opened his belly it exploded out everywhere. Her shoes, her non hospital scrubs, her hair, the surgeons clothes/shoes/ hair. (She said the smell was worse than the time an extremely overweight woman came in with stomach pains and she had unknowingly been pregnant and miscarried, yet the fetus stayed inside rotting.) She took a long shower that night. Vibrator dude lives on, but with short bowel syndrome. I’m sure he will never use a sex toy without a wide base again in his life. In fact, that whole experience may have turned him off of prostate stimulation all together. Edit: I read the first two comments before I posted this. Now that I’ve read the rest of the thread I see everybody came here to talk about stuff shoved up asses... 😂


Not a surgeon, but I'll never forget the way the doctor described my grandfather when he was in surgery a few months ago. He had woken up early in the morning due to some really bad hernia related pains.Unfortunately instead of risking the surgery a few years ago, we were told that it would be best not to do anything and just let him live with it. So this meant occasionally he would get 'blocked up' and proceed to have the worst acid reflux and contractions I've ever seen. This time was worse than ever before so we brought him to the hospital and they took him to surgery to fix the hernia. Apparently it had gotten so bad that his esophagus had entangled his stomach and cut off the blood supply. The surgeon said when he went to go touch the stomach it was a black crumbly mess, kinda like the outer skin of a good smoked meat. There was nothing the doctors could do and he essentially died on the table. This was all six weeks after the passing of my grandmother/his wife.


Damn sounds horrible.. sorry for ur loss. Why did he not get the surgery done earlier?


Guessing in the space of a year it went from "risk of surgery higher than this getting worse", to, "needs surgery"


Patient had to straight cath throughout the day to empty his bladder. Ran out of supplies over the weekend, stuck a cut off small caliber extension cord too far in, tied itself in a knot in his bladder, needed surgery to get it out.


Not a surgeon but a paramedic. I took a roofer in to the hospital after he fell of the roof on a hot day towards the end of the day. Heard a buzzing the entire time had no idea what was going on. They took him straight to X-ray when we got there and he had a massive vibrating butt plug in


My doctor took an x-ray of my feet and was like, wow. Wow. He then googled "foot x-ray" to show me what the bones are SUPPOSED to look like. He then called in his nurse, explained she was in school and is it ok if she looks at them (yes of course) and she was like, YOU WALKED IN HERE. Yup. Walked out too. Honestly it was liberating. Yes. My feet hurt. I am not a whiner. It is not just everyday pain that everyone has. My feet are, in fact, super jacked.


I used to work in retail and while speaking to an ambulance driver/ Parademic (UK) I asked him a similar question and he said he got called out to a house, specifically the bathroom. When he arrived the Wife answered and had no idea what was going on. He made his way to the bathroom and the Husband was in there with a TOILET BRUSH stuck up his arse! The bristles end. Apparently he shoved it in and the bristles opened and didn't want to come back out.


Not a surgeon, a gasman instead. Morbidly obese patient fell down some stairs, breaking a picture frame along the way. Seemed OK, no serious injuries on primary survey, and had a CT scan to exclude any internal bleeding. CT scan showed one edge of the picture frame buried right through the patient's kidney. It hadn't been visible when she'd been first examined. Apparently the husband couldn't work out when he could find three pieces at home. Bloody lucky she didn't bleed everywhere, but she did have to have the kidney taken out complete with the wooden frame piece.