Alright guys, how do I seal the deal? 😎
By - semmarG
Do you both have “I am a furry” in your profiles?
The real questions
Silently craps in kitty litter box
Gives the cat Viagra
Cat gets splitting headache
Says the guy with furry porn in his profile….
>! made you look !<
Made me look...now I'm disappointed
I mean, how else would he know?
What the fuckity fucking fuck
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Did he ask or were they just stolen?
Pulled them out with his tongue after I begged
The romance continues
For real. OP should remain on his own here. He dug his grave now he should shit in it and roll around or whatever he’s into.
No. No no no. These people are fucking made for each other. Probably have the same brand.
The same brand of what? Diapers?
Wait a Kentucky Fried Minute
Thanks for the laugh 😂
I was gonna type that but i just upvoted it
Faith in humanity lost...
Fuckiny fuckiti fuck?
Thought I was in r/cringe because that’s where it belongs
What in the fuck is this
A furry mating ritual. We’re actually really lucky to see it happen in public as usually the furry is frightened to perform such actions with non-furries in the vicinity out of fear of retribution for societal abnormalities.
*slowly sips my tea*
This is but one such ritual. If you wish I can divulge a second.
One word. Vore.
Surprisingly, not as bad as I was expecting. Not great, but not bleach my eyes out bad either
As they should be! This is an abomination
Cleanse this heresy with righteous fire! The Emperor demands it!
My thoughts exactly what the fuck 😂
How the fuck. What the fuck.
That's it, I give up.
Rules 1 and 2
Shit your pants and clean up piss? Ok if my next match doesn't like it then it's on you
What a terrible day to have eyes.
What a terrible day to know how to read, wish i was illiterate.
I couldn't agree more
"sometimes I pray for god to take away my ability to read"
All jokes aside, suddenly realizing you can't read something you used to is terrifying. Especially if it's infront of someone....
It happened with me when i was 14… It was in front of the entire class… My brain stopped working, i was lagging repeating the word without fixing it, i started laughing at myself with the class, but dead inside… Sorry if there is any mistake in the comment i’m brazil 🐊
Hello Brazil, I'm dad
oh no for sure, I was just quoting a tweet I saw on a meme lol
It reminds me of the one about the crocs... and shrek
"No seriously, I shit my pants. Can I get in yours?"
Damn how are people this witty
I was gonna say something about peanut butter and red rockets
If I had a drink, I would probably take another sip while reading this comment again... And still spit it out.
If I had my free award, this would take it.
I had mine and I gave it to him for you. Free awards rise up!
No you clowns! Don’t award me! Award him ⬆️
This man(and or woman) deserves an award
I have a penis and testicles and the pronouns of him/his and identify as a man, and I do not deserve an award for backing up my fellow redditor
The "bro" award. For being a bro
I suppose bro.
That’s fucking golden
Like a stream of golden pee
DAMN!! (like how Kevin hart says to Don Cheadle)
You throw your phone in a River and isolate itself from other people for the rest of eternity.
Don't let the joke go on too long
Yeah make it happen!
And kids, *that's* how I met your mother!
No no no. You didn’t tell us this whole story about aunt robin just to let us know that you let mom piss in your ass hole right before she passed.. you like aunt robin..
Match made in heaven
Vomits all over his shirt
Calls an exorcist
This is very stable and normal, take a selfie of yourself hogtied and send "will you pork me?".
How do I delete someone else’s picture from the internet?
Oh, what a horrible day to be literate!
I have no idea what's going on here, but I'm glad you two found each other.
Ya’ll both need Jesus…
I'm an atheist and I agree.
[As Fluffy says... ](https://m.imgur.com/a/ANfLgDY)
This is the weirdest shit I've seen so far
Is a very aggressive shit too.
You both need therapy
They both need Jesus
They need each other
...therapy need Jesus and Jesus need therapy?
Jesus is therapy. You don't need pills or a counsellor or a Covid vaccination. He will save you if enough people share a prayer post on Facebook. I bet 3 of my friends won't.
Dafuk did I just read... 🤨
What the fuck is going on?
This guy can get a response with shitting his pants...the fuck am I doing wrong...
You just gotta find a girl who violently pees herself.
I wish I knew what both of them looked liked.
I would love to find a girl who violently pees herself. She seems like she’s attractive so you’ve gotta imagine he’s decent looking
Ahh, what a terrible day to have eyes.
And a bladder
Underrated comment here.
Do these awkward exchanges really work? I cringe myself out of my chair when I see them
As weird as this conversation is nothing is better than a chick that can take a joke
Each day we stray further and further from the Lord.
What a terrible day for eyes.
Yes, with group suicide.
Dating is weird
People are weird
You go to goddamn church and ask for forgiveness!
That girl is fucking awesome. It's ordinary for guys to rely on shock factor during initial contact. Give themselves a reason to be rejected other than she wasn't into them. But for her to just match his comments like that. Then has the sense of humor and quick wit to think of the gallops off. Her mind is sexy af.
Or she's a dominatrix who get into men emasculating themselves.
That's fair. I would just do everything I could to get her to get coffee with me, or get to know me ... take her out, bring things back to my place. Then I would be in an awkward position when she violently pissed on my floor and insisted I do my job.
Smells like R Kelly's sheets
But it was 99c
That girl is fucking weird. I know that because, like you said, she did match his comments. And those comments were fucking weird.
I mean, good for him finding someone that works for him. But what the fuck.
And they said romance was dead
*Violently humps the couch leg to show your dominance*
What seems to be the fuck
Yep. Worst thing I’ve ever seen
Seems like you already have
Take her to a porta potty at the zoo
I would rather burn this planet to the ground than spend another minute living among these animals.
I always wonder how weird couples meet and do weird stuff together.
How did this end?!
she's way out of my league so i never ended up messaging her back 🤪
She matched with yo headass didnt she??? And responded to you
Wtf why? I’m so angry at you.
Only insecure people believe that leagues exist, I’m disappointed in you
She fuckin played ball with your weird ass and you leave her hanging?! Bruh.
dawg she literally replied to your message about shitting your fucking pants. if that didn't turn her off nothing will. don't be a coward
Exactly not following rules 1&2 and results to show it.
To seal the deal you need to stand on the bathroom sink and Swan dive into the toilet.
What in the actual fuck
Well this is some original shit I gotta give OP that.
Puts a bit in your mouth and says "Good horsey!" \*takes a moment to ask for your phone number because you're really fun\*
This hurt my brain
Yes, start LARPing for phone number with asterisks
Jesus Cringing Christ
Did you notice the rest of the conversation? I don't think LARP asterisks are *super* out of place, are they?
I think when we started LARPing complex social interactions like some kind of Deus Ex in third party, it changed quite a bit.
"Slaps your ass"
"Notices ur so pwetty and gets your gorgeous numbew"
Are miles apart
I agree! I'd just say this tinder conversation is closer to the later of your examples. Just my humble opinion.
*vomits cutely into your mouth*
Finds another girl and a cup
Is this flirting and I've been doing it wrong? I'd expect this from a 15 year old but maybe you've found your soul mate?
What a terrible day to have eyes
Personally, I'd be uninstalling the app and calling it a day. This shit is weird.
* tips fedora *
what a bad day to have eyes
What the fuck?
Shit I've been flirty wrong my whole life...
This is fake right? normal humans don't do this right?
By going to jail.
Make sure she’s not doing it unironically
You are made for each other good for you
Goes to show you can say just about anything if you're attractive enough
maybe start by a shower.
So, let me get this straight you flirt with a girl about caviar and golden shower and YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO CLOSE THE DEAL?
i certainly hope that she knows as i want to see your face when she asks you to shit on the carpet. xD
Pretty sure you sealed the deal already with little to no effort. Have fun?
Nah lad you’re on your ones but it looks like you two are into it… whatever “it” is
Yall wack asf 🤣🤣
G-zus Murray and Yusef!
Seal the deal with baby wipes, depends and takeout.
Glad you found someone just as weird as you are lol
I need therapy after seeing that shit
What the fuck is wrong with you
so this is what it's like out there huh? I think I'll stay single
Oh hell nah🤮
Le Fuck IS THIS-
Take my eyes. Anyone.
Throw yourself into a wood chipper
but like, really, what the fuck
I hate this so much
What in the sweet motherfucking fuck is this?
What the fuck is going on here
Weird ass people out there
What the fuck is wrong with ya’ll?
Y'all Mofos need Jesus fuckn christ
As much as I fucking hate this, good for you OP
I know true love when I see it
Imagine starting out a conversation with someone you’ve never spoken to like this..
please delete your reddit account and never post anything again
This whole damn thread has me fucking dying lmao
I think you already won
Let us put on your leash and attach you to my bed before you run away
Uh I think the deal is sealed all you gotta do I send it out to Australia cause what in the outback type shit did I just read
You must be gorgeous
Would be awesome if that was a bot, pass her around Reddit for the boys… lol
Fucking get therapy. You're not funny. Get help.
I promise I clean up good
Maybe introduce yourself.
I swear, do people not talk to other humans these days?
Um if it were me I’d stop with the *taps fingers on the keyboard* describing what you’re doing. But IDK.
If I had tinder/ didn’t find someone on spotafriend this is exactly how I’d go about finding someone. My man