T O P

Im 16 and got my first payday today! (OC)

Im 16 and got my first payday today! (OC)

HOUCAPO

I know a guy that can turn that into 15 bucks.


AsthmaticMechanic

You are now a mod of /r/wallstreetbets.


wcarl210

Nah, that would be 0 haha. Might be personal experience or something. I don’t know 😂


usernamehell4ever

Rookie numbers, mess with options for infinite losses.


beneye

Aaaaand it’s gone. **Next please!!**


pilotmsr1

I’m sorry sir, this line is for people who actually have money to invest with the bank.


th3cr1t1c

Learn theoretical math in 50 seconds! You'll have a balance of √-100,000,000 in no time!


wcarl210

The second I dabbled in options I took a turn for the worst haha


DVariant

Nobody should be touching options unless they know that specific industry and market inside and out. Even then, they’re basically gambling. At least if you’re buying stocks you’re getting equity for it. Options are nothing.


ChefBoyAreWeFucked

I once had a boss who taught finance on the side. On a test, he had the question, "How do you value an option?" One answer he got was, "I think options are good, because you can choose whether or not to exercise it based on whether or not it's in the money." There's a 100% chance that student has submitted detailed DD on an options trade to /r/wallstreetbets.


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jchincapiez1

I agree with you if you are talking about naked options, yet if you own the stock and you sell a covered option then you create a source of additional income.


JacesAces

Would actually be -$30,000. Be careful.


wcarl210

After I lost a little bit I stopped with options. Now I just buy shares


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

That's why your wife's boyfriend don't let you sleep in the bed anymore


Napol3onS0l0

More like -$75,298 and all of it was lost on FDs.


TheBrianJ

I just don't get Wall Street Bets. It feels like a place where a bunch of people invest a ton of money, then instead of selling to make a profit they keep buying because of memes, and then they lose everything.


orbesomebodysfool

I thought you said you don't get Wall Street Bets?


Chunkm0nster

What the fuck is that flair


preztelbreak

Kindness


lovesducks

*Kidness


derekaspringer

All I can see on Reddit is fun is "forces kids..." Forces kids what? Please someone, I'm so curious.


steeze206

Forces kids into beds


Swiss8970

I laughed out loud at this, I don’t normally do that


Watches-You-Pee

When you go from 1k to 10k overnight it's very easy to convince yourself that you can go from 10k to 100k


fAP6rSHdkd

And you can get lucky like that every now and then with good information. The problem comes from trying to get repeated success on that level instead of more stable and steady growth after a big win like that. The number of people who can turn 1k into 1m from repeated gambles like that are about 1 in a million. It's not impossible, but also a lot more loss porn than gain porn to be had


WeAreBeyondFucked

I'm one of those people that if you give a dollar to I will figure out how to turn it into negative money. If there's a 50-50 shot at making money I will lose if there is a 99% guaranteed chance of making money I will still lose money if I had bought Amazon in 1997 that company would be bankrupt today


Seanathon101

It's literally all about penny stocks. I live off volatility. that 100% spike gives me the hardest boners possible


imisstheyoop

>It's literally all about penny stocks. I live off volatility. that 100% spike gives me the hardest boners possible If you are being serious, I recommend you call a gambling hotline or find a support group. That is not healthy.


jerkittoanything

Because it is. 2 simple rules. 1) buy the dip. 2) fuck your puts.


Puptentjoe

Thats 100% what it is. Buy high, sell low.


iGrowCandy

Even the worst bets have better potential than any casino or State lottery games


homiemadsus

He said 15 bucks not 60k in debt.


fr3sh_414

or Creed Bratton


reece1990

You mean Ryan.


HimalayanPunkSaltavl

or /r/flashlight


creativeusername0022

No no, you're thinking of the guy that turns it into -$30k


Cornelius_Poindexter

15 bucks little man, put that shit in my hand If that money doesn’t show, then you owe me owe me owe


Bbaccivorous

My jungle ^lovee


Sargatanas2k2

Ohhweeohhweeohh


Static_Frog

Morris Day and the motherfuckin Time!


hideandseekdick

I think I want to know ya know ya


vell_o

That shit is the maaaad notes, written by God himself and given to the greatest band in the world..


KBSonn

yo, you don't know Morris Day and Jerome? that shit was the maaaad notes. Written by God Herself and handed down to the greatest band in the world...


Shiftkgb

That reference is 4 years older than him.


KBSonn

fuck, I'm old


cookiemon32

aaaaaaaaaaand its gone


BenjaminTW1

It’s gone, it’s all gone.


android24601

I'm sorry, but the $10 and the $50 need to be flipped and the $100 needs to be rotated 180°


Playful-Natural-4626

According to folk lure you bring in more money when you keep it all perfectly organized. Be sure to frame that $10 bill.


kellymiche

Yes. Thank you. Multiple retail jobs hammered this into my brain.


FuzyManPeach

Creed?


JewOrleans

Im really good at this if you let me buy options.


fixedfinds

But what about $3.50?


BP619

I'm 40 and when I was 15, I cashed my first paycheck ever for ~$120 and my best friend and I went to Blockbuster and rented 5 movies and bought $40 worth of McDonald's. I still think about it today. Congratulations on making your own money.


Nwcray

I’m 43. I got my first paycheck at 15 as well. I took my parents out to dinner, and then bought some MtG cards. Good times.


Thaleon

I have no self control and getting into MtG was probably not the best idea.


Osric250

Getting into it in 1993 does seem like a great idea though.


AtlantisTheEmpire

I got into it when revised edition was the new shit. All my cards got stolen so I quit. Couldn’t stand to buy them all over again. May whoever stole my magic cards burn in fucking hell.


Bird-The-Word

Same, but it was my brother that stole them when he was into drugs. He's clean now but I still get sad over it when I think about it.


AtlantisTheEmpire

Yeah man that’s rough. Addiction turns you into a different person. People will do stuff they’d normally never do when they’re addicted to drugs. Fucking sucks your magic cards had to pay the iron price, but at least your bro is doing better. I’d give any amount of magic cards for my bro to be okay. Fortunately he is okay, because I’m all out of magic cards.


Unlikely_Rutabaga_32

I lost about 40k worth of magic cards to getting stolen and also wrapped it up within a year or two after that. Devastating…


BuffaloKiller937

I think there's a YT video where a kid found a binder at a MTG event and not only was the cards worth a shit ton, there were cards in it that I read were literally priceless because only one or very few were made. Kid ended up finding the owner and the owner in turn gave the kid a card worth like 10k or something. But it leads me to ask, how the hell can you be so clumsy or forgetful with something that costs so much? Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/magicTCG/comments/3ohulr/i_would_like_to_personally_thank_all_of_you_for?sort=top It was actually a post on the MTG subreddit. The binder was worth around 60k, and they guy gave the kid a couple cards worth around 1k it looks like. Pretty crazy, guy got very lucky.


Bird-The-Word

Yeah, I would def choose him, but it just hit me harder than money. They were a part of my childhood and just irreplaceable now.


MisterMasterCylinder

I played a bit when I was in elementary/early middle school around that time. I had no real idea what I was doing but I thought the card art was cool, and opening booster packs was fun. I eventually sold my collection to a classmate for like $60 when Pokemon cards got popular, because I liked Pokemon more than weird magic cards. It wasn't until years later that I realized that the Black Lotus card in my deck was worth so much. Johan, if you're out there, I hope you kept that card in good condition and bought a house or something with it


Fritzkreig

Not on that level myself, but most older Magic players have stories like this. My favorite is when I traded 4x Gaea's Cradle in great condition to a vendor in 1999 Indy, for a mall ninja sword! The mall ninja sword is at the bottom of a lake, as swords are want to be. The Cradles retail for like 4200$ usd dollars now!


tundar

I'm 30 and I blew my entire $450 first paycheck at 17 in one night treating my friends at the movie theater, arcade and then dinner after (I'm the oldest). Made really good memories that night! Completely worth it. Still part of the exact same super close tight-knit group of friends.


Puffling_

That's a lot of $0.39 cheeseburgers...


alixtron

I got my first paycheck at 15 also. I think it was in the ballpark of like $80 or so. I promptly went and blew it all at a local record store on a bunch of cheap pre-owned punk cds that I had been wanting forever. It was the best day ever. My dialup computer at home was no good for downloading stuff from Limewire, so I had to pay for my music, lol.


tigerjuice888

Word of advice. Never tell anyone you have money


shellDawg78

Or how much


tigerjuice888

Especially how much


Clean_Medic

What's odd is my grandfather was always the one telling me that but when I finally had enough to buy property it was him trying to edge in on the deal and even used the line "now that we have money we can ....."


determania

He gave you that advice because he knew people like him were out there.


thenorthwoodsboy

Ah i love when people try to tell me how to spend my money.


SimpoKaiba

That's not very comrade of you, grandson


CleUrbanist

Did you remind him of his advice?


jam_rok

My mother told me when I was growing up: “When you are at the store paying, do not take your money out until they tell you the total.” It is good advice and not something I have heard much aside from that.


WebbieVanderquack

Oh, so your mother's responsible for all those customers who wait until the very last minute to even *start thinking* about maybe opening their wallet at some point.


LeviathanGank

oo 55 dollars you say? well better get my change purse out now and begin counting


Lucifer_Crowe

I just never carry cash and use my card/phone.


kidneysc

Rule Nombre Uno: never let no one know How much dough you hold 'cause you know The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially If that man fucked up, get yo' ass stuck up


infinitee775

Rule number uno, never let no one know how much dough you hold


cranakis

Yep. The pic even makes me nervous, seeing them flash it out on the street.


tompink57

Born and raised NYC. I counted my cash out in the subway station onetime before buying some Chuckles when I was like eight. Cut to my dad "FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?"


jon-chin

yeah. I'm from NYC too. I've got it down to a science where I can pull out a bill from my wallet while everything's still in my pocket. bills are stacked smallest to largest, which helps.


Tankisfite

Bro my drug dealers don’t take card.


CapitanChicken

After visiting NYC for years, I went with my in-laws. Had a couple 14 year olds going along with us, one who had never been to the city. She stuck her giant ass phone in her tiny back pocket where 2/3 of the phone was sticking out. She even had some cash behind her clear phone case. I told her if she wanted that phone later tonight, she better put that in her bag.


Ilikeitrough69xxx

I was in the subway recently and the dude next to me pulled out a *huge* wad of bills. It made me instantly scared of him, no way he wasn’t a drug dealer or something


BitsyMinnow

Or a stripper. You never know


Marokiii

dont even tell yourself. pretend you are always semi broke and let your savings grow. splurge only every once in awhile.


VegasBusSup

I'm your uncle and I have a family emergency that needs to be fixed for that exact amount of cash.


SmokyRobinson

Give me your lunch money nerd


eliteaimzONTWITCH

D:


pattieskrabby

:D


samalamadewgong

:ᗡ


Vistrus

:ᗤ


Yebitz

Þ:


Graitom

:𝔻


AdamL480

(☞゚ヮ゚)☞


Bonk-horny-jail

(Chad face.exe)


_johnfromtheblock_

٩( ᐛ )و


MrZephy

arrest this man


figureinplastic

He speaks in maths.


cireland32600

He buzzes like a fridge.


Is_A_Saga

⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠢⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷


eliteaimzONTWITCH

I’m not winning dad 😔


Tovar42

LPT dont take pictures of your money on the street


Jimmy281

When I was in Mexico City, my uncle told me to never pull out my wallet in the street. Makes it easy for pick pocketers.


7ordank

That funny because my uncle said to never put my wallet in my pocket because that's where they go picking


rubywpnmaster

Front side pockets are best.


YouWannaTussle

I prefer the front middle pocket.


istandwhenipeee

Keep mine in my prison pocket at all times just to be safe


SanchoBlackout69

"That'll be 13.50" "HNNNNNNGAHHHH"


joshlamm

The actual best place is to put it in the last place the pickpocket would expect. That's why I always keep my wallet in the pocket of the nearest pickpocket


fox_eyed_man

Really thought you were gonna have a wallet in your asshole by the end of this comment.


mutantmanifesto

When I was a freshman in college in the Bronx, I was waiting on the line to buy a Wii in the middle of the night and took my wallet out and a local dude freaked out at me and told me to NEVER take my wallet out. Big thanks to that guy! The school was in Riverdale (the “nice” Bronx on 242nd st and Broadway) but I had walked down to 225th st. and Broadway which was a completely different scene, if anyone is from the area.


mveeel

Went to Manhattan college, bought wii at target or GameStop? That McDonald’s and target are the worst I’ve ever been to. Loved that area tho. Still in nyc?


mutantmanifesto

Target!! Left NYC 2.5 years ago because my hand was forced. I’m born and raised NY and I miss it every single day. I just looked it was actually Sophomore year. At that point in my life I was 18 and only away from my hometown on Long Island for a year. I never left the city after college though. Eventually settled in Queens! Graduated 2009, you?


salmix21

When I was 15 I worked at a toy store during christmas season, when I got my paycheck I wore some cargo pants and divided the bills into each of the pockets just in case. Third world countries be like that sometimes.


RunestoneOfUndoing

I spent my first paycheck on a kayak. 100% worth it.


T-Sonus

I was 15 and bought weed and a couple tabs of acid. 100% worth it.


son_et_lumiere

I’d be very curious about a “where are you both now?” comment.


T-Sonus

I am the Now...


stark_raving_naked

Must’ve been some good acid


WD-4O

Or some great weed.


scifisociety

You could have been doin acid on your kayak


HI_Handbasket

First guy: Nurse (important respectable job), wife (I've been happily married many years, I can dig that), kids (I loved having kids, totally worth it), mortgage (own your own house!) You: High as a kite and trippin' balls. You've won this round, my friend.


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_EagleEyedTiger

What would you do if you found a dead body in a hotel room?


Vhozite

Loot his armor and weapons


shadowlarx

Don’t spend it all in one place and do try to save some of it. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.


eliteaimzONTWITCH

Im saving for medical school


MetalChef156

Only $399,740 to go


assholetoall

For freshman year or just books?


DJDarwin93

Chapter 1 page 1 of one book


ResolvePsychological

Still better than nothing D:


Snuffy1717

Ehh by the time inflation kicks in it’s basically the same


YummyKisses

Dr. here, sounds like a good plan in theory, but honestly, save a bit but enjoy the rest. College and med school is expensive but it's expected to take out large mortgage sized loans on it (or rich family). What you can't take a loan on is your late teens, all of your 20s and early 30s, which is frankly all a blur for me now and I feel like I lost them. Point is, it's a long road, enjoy yourself on the way, the money comes easy after you get your first real job, the loans melt away, but the time is lost forever.


Biomirth

\#IfProfessionalsWereHonest I wish we could have both, right? A real indulgence in the freedom of youth; The dreams and adventures and misadventures, but also just pull in at the last minute and drop into stable middle age with all the skills from countless hours of study and practice. Alas.


rubywpnmaster

This is so true. The couple thousand dollars they can save before college would be better used for almost anything else. That’s big boy debt that will require big boy income to knock out.


Deathbeddit

This is excellent advice. Also, if you get a bad deal and don’t live that long… I have been told my student loans expire with me.


Sawses

/u/eliteaimzONTWITCH I'm gonna back this up as well--working the math out, the only times it really makes sense to save for college or professional school is when it's a 2-year degree or you're making like $20/hr. Your earning potential doubles, triples, or (in the case of an MD) multiplies by 4-8x after your degree. Most jobs a high school or college kid can have won't make a dent in your debt. It's better to focus on studying and enjoy your free time, then pay loans off later. Just looking at my undergrad, I was in 50K of debt. Working full-time through college, I'd at best be able to cover like 50% of that. ...And trust me, anyone trying for med school does **not** have time for any job that isn't explicitly helping you get into med school.


FrozenFern

Exactly what I’m doing. Pre-dental and volunteering/shadowing instead of working. Making $14/hr isn’t worth it now when I can make a real difference once I’m out of school


Semyonov

Yea, med school kicks everyone's asses. Enjoy it while you can before it all becomes a blur.


ChewMaNutz

Realistically better to save for a car/ school supplies/laptop something that's manageable and can be achieved. Let your grades get you to Medical School by focusing on getting good grades and applying yourself.


SallyFieldsbutthole

Pfft kids these days


DrDilatory

I'm literally a doctor and I'm telling you that you are thinking too many steps ahead Just do well in your classes in high school, focus on doing well on the SAT or ACT, and then get into a decent university, which you will either pay through student loans or with help from scholarships/grants/family. You don't need to be saving money for any of that right now. You're 16, just be 16. When I was 16 I spent money like that on an Xbox 360 and food with my friends. And I didn't grow up rich by any means, I remember having the same freak out moment the first time I got my first small paycheck. Live in the now, med school is still a long ways off


Etere

You're supposed to blow your first paycheck, it's like tradition or something. Save the savings for the second check and beyond.


Gh0sT_Pro

Good job! Now you just have to do that for 60 more years.


baconwagoneer

Come on man. That’s discouraging. Closer to 50 years if he plays his cards right.


SeaOdeEEE

40 if he works two jobs that both give decent retirement plans! Then you can do less work afterwords and think about all you missed out working two jobs for most of your youth. I'm sad now.


boyyouguysaredumb

Any job you can work two of isn’t going to have a very good retirement plan I wouldn’t think lol


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nhibbard12

Lots of bad advice here… I’ve heard the best way to spend it is on a wedding cake, and then having a cake fight with your brother.


Merprem

Stop trying to kill OPs brother


vikj0105

I see you, too, were touched by the "what was the biggest waste if money that you don't regret"


flargenhargen

ctrl-f wedding cake. did not disappoint.


slipperyeel

Is it normal to be paid in cash in USA?


aliasamandawho

No. Jobs for the OPs age group such as babysitting, lawn mowing, odd-jobs are paid in cash. Many "under the table" jobs (illegal, not on the books, IRS and state don't know) are paid in cash because there is no paper trail for tax purposes, etc.


ImmediateShirt6663

Now don’t spend it all on penny whistle’s and moon pies!


Zerotwohero

**Moon** pies? What a time to be alive.


ImmediateShirt6663

I have to admit it’s a Simpsons reference.


Zerotwohero

So is mine lol, Jasper said it when he thought he was frozen in Apu's freezer for years.


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ItsJustStuff01

You charge $26 a BJ?!


Im_Just_Sayin__

Wait…you guys charge for blowjobs!?


AJugofBeer

When can we meet?


PISS_IN_MY_SHIT_HOLE

The correct way to phrase this question is, "you suckin?"


baybjto

Wait blowjobs are an option? I thought they were mandatory. Time to sue my uncle for the money I worked hard for. That job really sucked


mv1630

Oof thats pricy, mine are free. Just give me a crisp high five to seal the deal


DemenicHand

Yeah the crack epidemic of the 80s really killed the BJ industry. My father and grandfather made a decent living giving handies and BJs down by the docks. Do you know how many dicks i would have to suck today to feed my family!?! glad i didn't have to go into that line of work, selling insurance may be far less respectable but aleast i can chew solid foods when i go home at night.


seanomatik80

Congratulations!


HotSalsaAssFire

Get a bank account. I hope you didn’t cash that check at a currency exchange. Seriously. Get one


thevhatch

He got paid under the table


duaneap

Wtf even is this subreddit anymore?


candykissnips

A place for algorithms to “learn”.


Another_Idiot42069

Spend it on drugs like a real adult


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thugstin

The moment you make your first dollar everyone starts expecting you to pay bills. Should've waited my man.


monarch1733

Ok.


Zonerdrone

Save 10 percent every time you get paid and DON'T TOUCH IT.


ConsecutiveNormalPun

My symphonic band conductor at my high school used to tell us all the damn time that if we started saving everything we could now we could be independently wealthy by the time we were in our thirties. I am in my thirties now and boy did I not listen to that advice at all.


thelovelyskitty

Save more than 10% if you can


JediJacob04

I’m 17 and always put away like 40% of it into savings, which my parents have invested so that it grows slowly over time. Hopefully I’m rich in a few decades


thelovelyskitty

Perfect, keep it up!


AdmiralSkippy

Are we really upvoting a picture of money?


SexiestPanda

/r/Redditorfacebook


FranklinStallone

At least OP marked it OC! This is a genuine, original lazy picture of money. Imagine if he borrowed someone else's lazy picture of money and tried to pass it off as his own.


Elevated_Dongers

Wow what a fantastic submission to /r/pics, a picture of some money. Very thought provoking and definitely worth upvoting so more people can see!