T O P

TIL In black swans around one-quarter of all pairings are homosexual, mostly between males. Male couples steal nests, or form temporary threesomes with females to obtain eggs, driving away the female after she lays the eggs.

TIL In black swans around one-quarter of all pairings are homosexual, mostly between males. Male couples steal nests, or form temporary threesomes with females to obtain eggs, driving away the female after she lays the eggs.

PansexualEmoSwan

Tell me something I don't know


HouseOfSteak

Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.


Alsaki96

I know this all too well 😭


A_Mouse_In_Da_House

The Tiare 'Apetahi flower is a singularly unique flower shape, wherein the complete flower only ever grows petals on one side in a 180 degree arc. The flower is also exceptionally temperamental about its growing conditions and will generally not grow outside of a single mountainside on a single island in Tahiti. edit: did I miss the word "well" at the end of their post? Yes. Yes, I did. But now you all know about a pretty flower.


ImBaaaaaaaaaaack

This is it: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/64/9e/24/649e24ec6b8805eb50b8cb12079e8a5e.jpg


Wise-Cap5151

Thank you. Trying to envision it from reading the description at 8:30 in the morning, I immediately thought, okay, I just need a picture.


5starlex

We have the same thought process apparently, I stopped trying and went for the link


outsabovebad

[Neat.](https://m.imgur.com/gallery/Y4YFthE)


ToastyMustache

Fucking diva.


cheridontllosethatno

Jerk flower


Brook420

I'm saving this so I can remember what to call someone one they are being a diva.


A_Mouse_In_Da_House

The folklore behind the flower is that a woman ran away to the mountains to commit suicide after her husband beat or cheated on her (I'm not sure). She cut off her hand and buried it with the palm facing the sky. Then she killed herself. The next morning, some visitors camping on the mountain were awakened by a "pop" sound. Going to look, they discovered the tiare 'apetahi bush. They ran and told the husband. And he went to try and bring it to his home But try as he might, every plant he moved died, and would only grown on the mountain. The pop is the sound of the flower opening apparently


nastyn8k

This gave me the sudden urge to study plant biology, travel to Tahiti to study this plant, then find a way to grow it in my house or yard. But.... I think I'll just keep sipping my coffee and sitting here on Reddit instead.


A_Mouse_In_Da_House

My house currently has about 300 plant species, 50+ of which are vulnerable to endangered or unclassified. Enjoy the coffee. The plant addiction can get real


TheGreyGuardian

Sounds like you need to gulp more snot.


WattledPenguin

Thank God for allergies. I think im set.


Etienne_of_Navarre

Believe nothing you read on reddit without doing a little careful scientific research of your own. You would be surprised what is full of shit.


NW_thoughtful

Mucus is amazing!


mcsmith1003

And it's everywhere!


Bierdosendeckel

Smile and wave, boys! Smile and wave!


Ok_Finger7484

holy shit I thought you made that username up for this post. I actually find this more amazing than the camp swans.


babygrenade

If you're on reddit long enough the post that was *meant* for your username will come along too /u/Ok_Finger7484


ControversiallySorte

If I sit by controversial every post is for me.


mexicodoug

And a six year history! Been ready for this post for a while.


Fake_William_Shatner

That you shouldn’t cool down wool from the dyer quickly and that it’s not kosher to store dairy products with meat. See; Wikipedia for more.


Westerdutch

> wool from the dyer YOU ABSOLUTE FCKING SAVAGE


Maligned-Instrument

Wait, why would God care how you keep / preserve food?


Colddigger

Six thousand years ago food cross contamination happened to be more serious.


setibeings

It's still pretty serious, but now we have refrigerators, better preservatives, pasteurization, and of course hospitals.


Smrgling

Most religious dietary restrictions are early food safety regulations. They're written into religious doctrine because they didn't have the scientific knowledge back then to justify the rules through reason, so they relied on religion to provide the social power to get people to follow them.


PansexualEmoSwan

Wait, people throw wool in the dryer?


wattatam

I don't think dyer was a typo- freshly dyed wool is allowed to cool slowly and most wool shouldn't go through the dryer


fantasmoofrcc

Could have been D'yer Mak'er, I wouldn't want to throw Led Zeppelin in the washer, or the dryer.


gadmouse

When I read the comment you wrote here, it made me mad, mad, mad


droflah

When I read the news that you told me, it made me sad sad sad.


CryoClone

Small music fact: D'yer Mak'er is pronounced like Jamaica with an English accent. That's what D'yer Mak'er means. Jamaica. With an accent.


riplikash

People tend to throw wet clothing in the dryer unless it's explained why they shouldn't, yes.


pigs_have_flown

Wool shrinks in the dryer.


Kevin_Uxbridge

That around 90,000 years ago, humans almost went extinct. Something bad happened and our numbers dropped dramatically, although we're still not sure what caused this.


Dr_Dust

Does this event have a name? I'm interested in reading more about this but my Google skills must be lacking today. Could only find an article about it on Business Insider.


agisten

Username checks out


Fake_William_Shatner

Could have been waiting years for just this moment to shine.


PansexualEmoSwan

*queue Phil Collins*


leopard-prince

WELL I REMEMBER


spacegoat725

I REMEMBER DON'T WORRY


leopard-prince

How could I ever forget ?


TheTrub

It’s a six-year old account, so that’s a really long con, if true.


cinnie88

Wow never has a username checked out like this one. Even in the emo/black trait. Impressive.


metamartyr

I once opened mouth kissed a horse


ChunkofWhat

How long have you been waiting for this moment?


CallMeCoolHand

I open mouth kissed a horse once.


Danny_Tamberelli

/r/beetlejuicing can be shut down. I think we have a winner.


RaNdomMSPPro

That username +1


bildungsromance

Fly my pretties, fly!


_sahdude

human fetuses form arsehole-first, and some people never really grow up beyond stage.


Kidquick26

They’re preaching to the gay swan choir here.


Enjoyer_of_Cake

Help, girlfriend is crying after finding this out.


sentientketchup

I live in Western Australia, home of the gay black swans. Please reassure her the swans here seem pretty happy.


mewantcookie83

Well the males do anyway...


TransitionalAhab

And the interior decoration is spot on!


jroddie4

No way are they happy, black swans are the meanest birds on earth.


scuba21

Canadian geese: Am I a joke to you?


phurt77

*Canada Geese They aren't citizens.


SupremeLisper

I wouldn't say that out loud if I were you. Never know from where one strikes


Meebos

Well they are happy, The neighbors... not so much.


honest-miss

THERE's the callback I was expecting.


NoAttentionAtWrk

It's such an old reference but was also my first thought


redditor1983

Got a link? I don’t recognize this one.


BulkyHotel9790

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3txkhp/my\_wife\_cries\_at\_absolutely\_anything\_i\_mean/


Wuffyflumpkins

Remember when 9700 upvotes was an insane amount? Goddamn inflation has ruined the upvote economy.


go_out_stay_home

Good times.


walterpeck1

There it is, the /r/funny post that's actually funny. Rarer than winning the lotto.


WatdeeKhrap

Mods please remove this post, it's breaking the rules of /r/funny


TesticleMeElmo

Thanks Obama these gay swans got me cryin in my 2 AM chili, gonna have to wash it off with ice soap 😭🥺😂


IFapToCalamity

Search for “gay swans crying girlfriend” No really. (Edit: wife not GF. My bad.)


Ynot_pm_dem_boobies

And now I'm on another list.


sandman12456

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3txkhp/my_wife_cries_at_absolutely_anything_i_mean/


Paradoxou

5 years? Old?


procupine14

That's like....75 years in internet time.


angela0040

And she'll cry an hour later when she remembers it again


bellowquent

Did you know, swans can be gay?


HarlanCulpepper

"...driving away the female after she lays the eggs." Bye, hag.


Granteus

It was as plain as the Ann on Egg’s face


leopard-prince

Ann hog’s coming ?


Farts_McGee

Check who's on the that hog back there.


leopard-prince

GEORGE MICHAEL


takeme2infinity

20 minutes to Legolaaand.


BubblyNumber5518

Her?


chupaxuxas

Way to plant Ann


flamingfungi

Is she funny or something?


EthelMaePotterMertz

Her?


DeadmanDexter

She calls it a mayo-egg


thebiglebroski1

Her?


Arma_Diller

Be gay, do crimes


Somellan

Chaotic Gay


BrainOnLoan

In a way, evolutionarily, this is a win for the female. Now someone else is raising her young. Minimal Investment for her, but still a good shot at passing on her genes.


cryptonewb1987

Begone, thot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DarkEvilHedgehog

"Web page not available" Remember it's title so I can Google it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AAVale

I wonder what the selection pressures were that drove this adaptation.


Fake_William_Shatner

It’s possible it just allows for more flexibility to support child rearing and more eggs become chicks. A female kicked off a nest can now get pregnant again. So if there are more males than females this phenomenon maximizes output. If there are more females than males it would result in unfaithful, carousing males — which seems like a good thing to do a behavioral study on. Either this occurs only when there are more males as a survival mechanism or it happens as some random mutation that doesn’t impact the number of chicks that are raised so it doesn’t evolve away. There are a lot of genetic traits that fall into this latter category— especially those that evolve by sexual selection like the Peacock’s plumage or the proboscis monkey’s nose.


vladhed

But I don't get how this "black gay swan gene" is getting propagated if they spend all their effort raising other swan's children? Unless we're just talking about a small portion of swans and it's only notable because white swan's don't do this.


murdermeformysins

/u/xydanil mentioned whats called kin selection, which is what tends to be a common argument for why homosexuality (and traits that reduce reproduction for an individual more generally) is evolutionarily conserved. Theres some criticism of this idea, especially applying it to humans, but it goes like: You and all your siblings share half your DNA (on average). If a mutant makes you sterile, but helps your siblings make more children, then theres about a 25% chance each of their kids has the gene that wouldve made you sterile. Because of this, as long as that gene leads to your sibling producing 2 extra kids, it should survive in the population in the long run.


ChunkofWhat

Not just the survival of siblings and nephews/nieces, but of the broader community at large. Kin selection is also used to explain the existence of altruism and other social behaviors in animal life (human and otherwise).


CLJ462

the case above is using Hamilton's rule so relatedness is important


IzarkKiaTarj

...well, hello there, Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.


whooo_me

>If a mutant makes you sterile, Scary phrase without context. I'm sure the next sentence clears it up... > but helps your siblings make more children Oh no.....


OnyxMelon

> Oh no..... As in, the gay relative helps the straight relatives stay well fed, healthy, and safe, meaning they're less likely to die and will have an easier time finding a mate.


Kahzootoh

It’s closer to “black bisexual Swan gene” as sometimes they mate with a female in order to get her to lay eggs. As for why this gene is getting propagated, it might be carried by the female of the species or at the very least is so beneficial to the survival of the female that it has propagated throughout the gene pool. For a female of the species, laying eggs and then being kicked out of the nest (which means no requirement to raise the offspring) is a significant survival advantage.


funkless_eck

Also let's not forget that things only don't get passed on if they're definitely 100% fatal. Something that's an active detriment, so long as it's not 100% fatal prior to breeding, has a chance of being passed along. It's less survival of the fittest and more survival of the good enough.


DownvoteEvangelist

Calling it survival of the fittest is survivor bias...


walterpeck1

>It’s closer to “black bisexual Swan gene” as sometimes they mate with a female in order to get her to lay eggs. Good to see even swans get the bisexual erasure treatment.


Flashwastaken

If you’re gay for pay it doesn’t count.


Auricfire

Everyone's gay for pay, you just sometimes get paid in emotions.


Flashwastaken

Everyone is gay for pay. Everyone just has a different price. Mines €100,000. I’ll do anything but toss your salad for that price. Throw in an extra €10k and I’ll pretend I’m enjoying it too.


_TheDust_

This guy gays.


Flashwastaken

Only for pay.


cant_Im_at_work

A rimjob on a clean butt isn't that bad. Definitely worth doing for 100k (considering most of us do it for free). I would say being fucked in the ass (for the first time when you don't want it) is much more traumatic that giving a rimjob. Even with lube and a moderate penis, anal sex is painful at first and if this guy's paying 100k, he likely won't be gentle.


Flashwastaken

I hate it when the John’s try to haggle. If you want your butt licked its €110,000 and that’s that.


jumpsteadeh

Jesus, finger the man first, you animal.


almightySapling

>But I don't get how this "black gay swan gene" is getting propagated if they spend all their effort raising other swan's children? How does the drone bee DNA get propagated if only queens procreate? A gay child isn't necessarily the result of parents with gay genes. A gay child may be the result of genes coded to trigger via certain environmental cues that are found in non-gay members of the species. For instance, we have evidence that shows that the more older brothers a man has, the more likely he is to be gay. This suggests epigenetic factors in the mother play a role.


xydanil

Because siblings can pass on your genes too. In fact, the whole reason bees form colonies is because workers are closer related to each other than to their own mother or children.


sowhat4

So who knocks up the lady swan? Someone in the bonded pair has to do the dirty deed.


[deleted]

I really like the phrase, “So who knocks up the lady swan?”


PaulOshanter

\-"So if there are more males than females this phenomenon maximizes output" I've read a similar theory for why homosexuality develops seemingly randomly among human populations no matter where you are.


BobbyP27

Humans have the trait that there is an extremely high effort required to raise an offspring to adulthood. No other animal requires such a long period of parental care. One of the unusual features of humans is the menopause. Most other animals remain fertile right up until they die. One hypothesis for why the menopause exists in humans is the grandmother effect, that is that no longer fertile grandparents helping in raising the children of their offspring gives a better change that the genetic line will be successful. The concept of kin selection, that is the contribution towards raising offspring by gay aunts and uncles, also helps with the overall success of the genetic line. It would be interesting to see if there is any correlation between rates of homosexual behaviour in different species and the amount of parental effort required to raise offspring.


persianrugweaver

Biochemical evidence for this hypothesis was identified in 2017, finding mothers with a gay son, particularly those with older brothers, had heightened levels of antibodies to the NLGN4Y Y-protein than mothers with heterosexual sons. The effect becomes stronger with each additional male pregnancy, with odds of the next son being gay increasing by 38–48%. This does not mean that all or most sons will be gay after several male pregnancies, but rather, the odds of having a gay son increase from approximately 2% for the first born son, to 3% for the second, 5% for the third and so on.


iJustDiedFromScience

[The study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29229842/)


conairh

Homosexual females exist.


hedonismbot89

From what I’ve read, cygnets of homosexual pairs have a higher likelihood of surviving to adulthood. This is thought to be because two male swans would be better able to defend a nest due to the fact that male swans are larger than female swans. Black swans also tend to be more social with other swans than other kinds of swans (mute, black neck, etc) meaning that two males would be more likely to be in the same vicinity without fighting. Not to say that doesn’t happen, but that it’s less likely.


DEEGOBOOSTER

It’s more likely that two males can more easily take resources from others with fewer repercussions.


Hjalpmi_

Honestly, it's pretty good for fitness, isn't it? Male swans are larger and stronger than females - so two dads can likely defend the cygnets more effectively. If the gay swans steal a nest, they may actually increase the survival rate of the cygnets. If the gay swans do surrogacy, the female is actually free of parenting duties - her genes live on with two dads, and she can always lay more eggs with someone else. If the gay dads are taking turns to engage the surrogate, both of their genes get passed on too. So, honestly... no one seems to lose in this situation!


[deleted]

[удалено]


minuddannelse

Found the Strayan


Hayaguaenelvaso

Males are powerful and have more mana, being able to destroy threats to the eggs more effectively.


honestgoing

Dunno about that all swans seen scary tbh


Worgen_Druid

I remember reading as well that lots of animals practice mostly homosexual grooming and sex outside of mating season and only come together with the opposite sex during mating season. Giraffes being one good example, with most 'off season' parings being lesbian


Kaiserhawk

Birds don't need encouragement to be massive assholes.


philthegreat

Black Swan Threesome would make a killer band name


DarkmanofAustralia

Dark swan throuple is my favourite ice cream flavour.


Fake_William_Shatner

Not many like the bold flavor of lickerish but I do.


ground__contro1

Lickerish lol


RiseiK

r/boneappletea


dicky_seamus_614

Or an awesome Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sequel!


thesircuddles

I'd like to petition Margot Robbie as the 3rd in the sequel.


cassiecat

But Olivia Wilde


PracticalDogHair

Basically straight swans get endless child free sex and date nights but still propagate the swan progeny? Not a bad deal.


Thiscord

Sounds like biology had all this figured out before conservatives started thinking.


stormy83

Lol but just imagine the Headlines: "The black gays are coming for your kids" literally this shit writes itself


Deadman_Wonderland

Next step is convert all the gay black swans into Communist Muslims.


twirlmydressaround

Wait. When did they start thinking?


Random_182f2565

Oof


PzykoHobo

The gay agenda at work


EdwardBil

Black gay agenda. They're coming for your kids.


Jackasaur

Duckold


Salty_Orchid

What is meant by homosexual in this case? I mean is there actual sex happening between the males somehow or are they just in a caretaker partnership?


Jinxed_Pixie

Swans (and a few other bird species) pair-bond for life. What that means is they select one partner to spend their life with. When one half of a pairbond dies, the survivor usually starves to death out of grief. S o, in this case homosexual means two male birds pairbond and are basically bird married. I'm not sure if swans have casual sex though.


_LususNaturae_

Here's a [1981 study on the matter](https://sci-hub.se/10.1071/WR9810135) Quote: >The homosexual pair: two males maintaining a stable association were always a formidable combination for other swans. These would indulge frequently in greeting ceremony and often in extended precopulatory display, which occasionally erupted into an intense fight when one bird attempted to mount the other.


SlapTrap69

It's cause they forgot to honk "no homo" isn't it


AltDesign

So they would do a lot of foreplay but when it got down to business, no one wants to be bottom.


9for9

This makes me wonder if they're homosexual in the since we think of, only desiring the same sex, assuming you can attribute desire to swans or if it's simply because they liked or got along with that swan best. Like if you could get them to bond a second time would they still pick a male mate.


LunarMuphinz

Oh my god, they were bondmates.


nemoknows

In general you shouldn’t project/assume human-like motives or interpretations for animal behavior. Hell, you shouldn’t make too many assumptions about human behavior.


waltteri

Yeah, sounds a lot like this. If it’s a *quarter* of all pairs, then it sounds like the mate selection process is completely fiddy-fiddy random for males.


Entity-2019

Homoromantic, then, more than homosexual. EDIT: Apologies for my potentially black-swan-bi-erasure.


Random_182f2565

When two swans love each other very much...


SorryAboutTheNoise

they steal a baby.


Random_182f2565

Classic swans


betweenskill

Homosexuality is more than sex acts, although animals engage in that too. It has to do with romantic relationships as well. So even if the two male geese don’t have sexual acts between them, which we know MANY animals engage in with the same sex, they can still be a “homosexual pair”. In animals with closely bonded relationships similar to our own this would be analogous to a homosexual partnership with two asexual men. You can love and care for someone of the own sex and raise children with them and groom them, cuddle them and do all the same behaviors a heterosexual relationship does and be homosexual without sex. So by all definitions that we would recognize, this is a homosexual pairing. This entire discussion requires framing through the human lens of understanding relationships because well… we can’t look at it any other way. We necessarily have a bias that anthropomorphizes things when we attempt to relate to them.


Salty_Orchid

Sometimes though we try to force human relationship categories onto other animal species where there is not a clear cut analogous pairing. For example, some insect females kill and consume the male partner after mating. Some species can change reproductive genders under certain environmental pressures. There is no human analog for these things.


flamespear

It sounds like they're not asexual, that quote said they tried to mount each other but fight instead, but remained pair bonded.


betweenskill

I’m not saying they are or aren’t. Just explaining that actual sexual actions don’t factor into discussions of homosexuality if we have longterm relationship bonding and behavior that is identical to male-female pairs.


evanhinton

Apperently bros before hoes is a law of nature


Fake_William_Shatner

Not so much a law as a guideline.


wrcker

We’re going to need an expert in bird law to settle this shit


absolutelynotarepost

Which begs the real question. Bird person or Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law? Both? Bird person is going to have the Bird law skills and Harvey can navigate it's implications within Human law.


franktheguy

Stop, you're going to make me cry.


islandsimian

We've been on reddit too long


matlynar

>Male couples steal nests, or (...) drive away the female after she lays the eggs. TIL gay swans are assholes.


ubernuke

Here's the old post a lot of people are referencing about a redditor's wife crying because "She found out swans can be gay and thought it was really nice" https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3txkhp/my_wife_cries_at_absolutely_anything_i_mean/


ProtoKaos

THEY GOT CHEMICALS IN THE WATER TURNING THE FREAKIN' GEESE GAY


Da_Yakz

Despite making up 25% of the population, gay black swans commit 100% of egg thefts.


Urbanredneck2

Swans, while being a beautiful animal, are real assholes. I've seen them eat little baby ducks.


CitizenJustin

Now the Christians will be coming after the swans.


[deleted]

[удалено]


brucekeller

In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.


thepeck

Does the female find a new mate the next season? Don't they mate for life, I'm just wondering of this fucks up the female when the male leaves


kaam00s

Penguins do this shit too. Don't know if it's a good thing to use as an argument. "So you're telling us that homosexual birds kidnap children?"


[deleted]

BBSC


Leni_licious

On swan reddit there's a post on a relationship advice sub going: "I met this really good looking boy and he's sort of my boyfriend now and I say sort of because he's *really* close with this other guy and I feel like *I'm* the one infringing on *their* relationship instead of the other way round, he says he wants to have babies with me and whilst I feel like that should affirm *our* relationship his friend and him *always* share this real weird look should I go for it?" And in the replies it's full of other swans going "Gurl RUN. This entire relationship is *full* of red flags, he wants to *steal* your babies."


DannyDarko1010

That’s right bitch. Thems my eggs now!


A40

Also, ballet. (I googled 'black swan' - there's a lot of ballet.)


abbbhjtt

The gays love ballet :)


justscottaustin

This seems very Reddit.


black_flag_4ever

Because this fact was posted before and was all over the front page. It also spawned a bunch of memes and other posts about swans being gay.


TitaniumDragon

I can find a lot of examples of this in the popular press, but none of them seem to cite an original source for the one-quarter figure. That they do it sometimes is certainly true - I can find the cites for that. But the one-quarter figure, I cannot. I wonder if this is a case of [citogenesis.](https://xkcd.com/978/)


obi-sean

Now I'm crying again


velvetujung

be gay, do (swan) crime